Photo by Annie Spratt
I genuinely believe that in order to become a strong, happy, positive, confident, and successful woman, the seeds need to be planted in your childhood and adolescence.
Growing up, you have so many questions: why the leaves are green, where is Japan, can chickens fly, what is the Universe; all those why, when, how, where, can...
Later the questions get more challenging: what is period, what is sex, what is a condom, what to do if I am being bullied, when can I shave my legs, how to say «no?"
While some parents choose to be honest and straightforward with their kids as much as possible, the others telling "fairytales," ignoring or redirecting the questions.
In America, all states are somehow involved in sex education for public schoolchildren. And even though topics like reproductive health, STD's, childbirth, family life responsibilities are covered. There are so many other topics that should be discussed: human sexuality, self-esteem, self-respect, stress management, interpersonal relationships, domestic abuse, bullying, puberty, menstruation, changes in your body, anxiety, depression, mood swings, hormones...
Nowadays, information became more accessible, with Google, Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, and bloggers who are more than happy to help. The truth is out there; all you have to do is ask.
But at the same time, it's quite challenging too. There is too much data, contradictive stories, and twisted facts. You will have to spend hours before attaining something that makes sense.
A few tricks that worked for me when I was a teen still do when I am all grown up.
If I have a question, I will do my due diligence. I will check Google, Wikipedia, WebMD, forums; I might ask people I know who have more experience in the field I am interested in. I will look for answers until I get sufficient ones, analyze, summarize, review, and educate myself along the way.
If I urgently need advice, I would trust myself and my gut feelings first. The truth is, we already have all the answers and all the keys. We just forgot how to listen to our inner voice. Trust yourself and stop looking for validation externally; start seeking it internally. Journaling is a great tool that helps me. It keeps me grounded; it's like a spa for my mental well-being; it's a friend who is always there for me, it helps me see the situation clearly.
If I want to hear the 2nd opinion. (the first is my won, of course) I'd only trust a person I respect and admire. People nowadays have so much to say; everyone has their views that you don't really need or want to hear. My perspective is if a person inspires me, being smart, happy, successful, interesting, content, being an expert or an authority for me in any field, I will listen to the advice and later decide to take it or not. But if the person doesn't strike me, I tend to listen to my gut feeling. I followed some people's advice before, and it got me nowhere. I either repeated their mistakes or, even worse, was manipulated and got myself into a spiderweb.
Live in a moment and enjoy and appreciate what you have. When I was a child, I wanted to grow up. As a student, I wanted to graduate. As a single woman, I wanted to be in a relationship. But when I finally was in a relationship, I wanted to be single again. Never satisfied and always looking or waiting for something. Now it's essential for me to stop just for a moment, take a breath and look around. Think of where I am in life, what I have, what I've achieved, and just enjoy, appreciate it, and be extremely grateful for circumstances that brought me where I am.
We live, and we learn; the main thing is to keep growing, challenging yourself. There is no such thing as standing still, either you grow or degrade.
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