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Writer's pictureDiana Vrasmussen

The Secret of Perfect Relationship


When we talk about the relationship, any relationship, professional or romantic, family or friends, there is something we all should keep in mind.


The relationship is a two-way street. You give, and you receive. And more you give more you receive. (Now I sound like Joey from «Friends,» talking about «giving and receiving, having and sharing»)))


In my opinion, it’s essential to have an honest or equal relationship. What I mean by that is if you invest your time, give your love, devotion, your striking personality, your wit, your money or your knowledge, your ideas (depends of course on the relationship we are talking about personal or professional) back we expect to receive as much or luckily even more.


I’ll give a simple example.

Let’s say you are standing in front of a vending machine and you want a candy bar, you insert your coins, choose your candy, and you wait. Nothing happens. You expect a bit more, start pressing all the buttons, getting angry, shaking machine. Nothing.

That wasn’t an equal relationship, you paid your money, didn’t get back a thing, you feel cheated.


Another example. The same very vending machine, you still want your candy bar, inserted your hard-earned money, but instead of a delicious, sweet chocolate candy bar that you were craving, you got some salty pretzels. Are you happy with that? Not really. Considering the fact you are gluten-free. It wasn’t what you paid for, it wasn’t what you wanted, and it definitely wasn’t what you have had in mind. Again that was not a fair relationship.


But let’s imagine for a second that you actually got what you ordered. You got your candy bar or maybe even more. You got a candy bar and a complimentary cup of tea or coffee (whatever you prefer). Never happened to me personally, but one can hope. That is an excellent example of an equal relationship or equivalent relationship and something extra, like a bonus.


That is exactly our goal. Every relationship has to be equivalent. Ideally, equivalent + bonus. It means you get what you hoped for or even more, like a cherry on top.


When you have a fight with your parents, beloved, your friends and you don’t really understand why, try to get back in time and think if you broke or somehow violated this «exchange», maybe it’s just their way to say that you didn’t give back as much as you have received and they expected more of you.


Sometimes when I come back home and find a vase of roses on the coffee table, I feel very blessed and so grateful. I know that my partner has nailed the giving part and my brain starts searching the ways I can surprise him or do something as lovely. And deep inside I know I don’t HAVE TO do anything, the look on my face is already a reward for my husband, but it’s not about to HAVE TO it’s about to WANT TO.


And the truth is, more you give, happier your partner (the receiver is), and trust me, happiness is contagious if you are happy - your partner is happy. If your beloved is happy, you are delighted as well. So, in conclusion, give as much as can and make sure when you receive to be very grateful for it, remember to give back and if you want your relationship to flow, never violate «the exchange.»




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